mbulelo smpofu
Fredrick Qaphelani Mabikwa
IN my previous article, I examined how cultural and traditional belief systems are major factors in wife-beating in Zimbabwe. In this article, I want to explore other related drivers of wife-beating.
Much of the wife-beating in Zimbabwe stems from gender roles and social expectations. Violence against women in Zimbabwe is common, and women are vulnerable because of their perceived low status and lack of power, mostly in the traditional family setup.
One major driver of wife-beating is learned behaviour from growing up in a family where wife-beating was common and acceptable.
Some men saw their fathers beating their mothers as they grew up, and this behaviour was tolerated in the family, to the extent that even the beaten mothers didn’t make it a big issue.
These men also take this habit into their own marriages and beat their wives. Such behaviour, if not tamed, can be transmitted from generation to generation within the family.
For some reason, in Zimbabwe, wife-beating is erroneously associated with poor and illiterate men. Ironically, well-to-do men and professionals also beat their wives. Some engage in what I may call compensatory behaviour. There are some of these men who are subjected to very strict disciplinary procedures at their workplaces, and in the process, their self-esteem is hurt.
The only way to recover this self-esteem is to subject the wife and the children to what they are subjected to at work, leading to regular physical abuse of the wife and children as well. This is why figures of wife-beating are a bit high in certain sections of the uniformed brigades. This inferiority complex is a major driver of wife-beating.
In certain cases, there are men whose wives bring more income into the house than them. In the traditional patriarchal Zimbabwean marriage setup, the man is the breadwinner, and some men use this breadwinner tag to control the wife. However, in some of these cases where the wife earns more than the man, the man’s ego is hurt because the wife is perceived as having taken over his position as breadwinner.
The only way the man can maintain his dignity and status is to regularly beat his wife to remind her that despite her high income, he is still in charge.
In certain cases, it is not necessarily the income; it can also be just power dynamics. We have high-profile professional women who also find themselves victims of wife-beating because the husband feels he has to assert himself that he is still in charge despite the wife’s professional status.
This is why we have high-profile professional women like lawyers, doctors, managers and directors still suffering from wife-beating. There is a lot of travelling with some of these professions for attendance at meetings, workshops, and conferences.
Some men are just unsettled by the travelling of the professional wife. Some even think the wife is cheating on these trips and will be constantly checking on the wife, and in some cases, even physically.
It is this inferiority complex in the husband that creates that mindset that leads to regular beating of the wife because the wife is perceived as a free cannon who is doing as she wishes.
Jealousy is overly a major driver of wife battering. With some men, it is almost a mental health issue. This is an obsession about suspicions of cheating on the part of the wife and the control that ensues. In isiNdebele, it is called ubukhwele and kuchengera in Shona.
The wife is under strict control and monitoring in case she cheats, and she is beaten for any movement the husband suspects she was cheating or was going to cheat on him. These are the men who wait for their wives at the door of the salon while she does her hair and conveniently push the trolley when she is shopping. The wife is not allowed to be alone in public places. A very selfish mentality which is tantamount to stalking.
There is the problem of alcohol and drugs. The abuse of drugs and alcohol impairs judgement and control, leading to violent behaviour with some men. The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that roughly 55 percent of domestic abuse perpetrators commit the offence after drinking alcohol.
In some cases, alcohol is just used as a shield; otherwise, the abuse will have been premeditated. “Wagara wakazvironga” (you had planned it already) sang our late musician Oliver Mtukudzi, dismissing claims of blaming it all on alcohol after misbehaving. Related to alcohol and drugs are personality and psychological disorders. Certain mental health conditions are strongly associated with violence.
Not all people with personality disorders will behave violently, but statistics suggest that people with certain types of personality disorders, like borderline personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder, may have high tendencies of being violent.
Even the traditional eye sees some of these disorders. In the Shona culture, a regular wife abuser is called mhengera mumba.
Another driver of wife-beating is anger management issues. Anger management can also easily become a mental health issue. Some men have anger management problems; their temper is very short, and the wife is frequently beaten at times for very minor issues. Anger is a natural human emotion, which every human being is susceptible to. The problem comes when it becomes too frequent and destructive.
Managing anger becomes even more difficult when the man is stressed and has to deal with many challenges. Failure to manage anger can also come from family history, inherited and passed on from generation to generation. This is why some families are actually identified with wife-beating arising from failure to manage anger by the men, and it is a value for men in these families to be frequently angry and beat their wives.
I didn’t know peer pressure was also a factor in wife-beating until I arrived at an assembly where men were busy sharing heresy about the advantages of wife-beating, and they were all in agreement. One of the men who said he had been married for 30 years and had never beaten his wife was accused of trying to adopt Western culture and was quickly reminded that this is Africa.
The men were all in agreement that occasional beating of the wife was necessary to instil a sense of discipline in her and for her to know who was in charge. This might appear like a minor factor, but some men, for them to belong to these social groups and feel accepted, adopt what is preached in these groups.
Wife-beating drains health services and further drains police and court time and resources. It is a cowardly act by the husband that spoils family life and traumatises children. Men should appreciate that times are changing, and we cannot continue to live in the past, sticking to cultures and traditions that do not add value to family life.
shloboe boe
