leeroy mupariri
So much is happening in relationships that I find concerning, especially in the efforts to build strong families.
I came across a horrific story about a step mother who allegedly battered a child including bashing her head on the ground and against a wall.
The child died. I also read about a college student full of life and promise, who discovered that the man she was dating was married and reportedly took her own life. A woman somewhere reportedly drowned her two kids purportedly to revenge their father’s infidelity.
I have no doubt dear reader, that you can think of many other stories, where relationships gone sour are causing horrendous pain, drama, and even costing life, sometimes the life of innocent children who find themselves stuck between feuding adults.
We find ourselves in perilous times where something as beautiful and sweet as love, is being misrepresented, abused and tainted.
Where is all this coming from?
Why are there all these surprises in relationships, where someone discovers they are not with the right person, way into the relationship, when they have deeply invested in it?
I have noted that as we wade our way in the complexities of romantic relationships, it is easy to get caught up in the excitement of new found love for too long and not delve in the core of why you are together, how compatible you are or where you want the relationship to go — especially those in it for the long haul.
However, neglecting to discuss essential expectations and preferences can lead to unpleasant surprises and outcomes, down the line. This week we are exploring the importance of openness and honesty in relationships, highlighting some key areas couples should discuss to build a strong and lasting foundation.
Family planning: Kids or no kids?
One of the most critical discussions couples should have is about family planning. Do you want kids? How many? When?
These questions may seem straightforward, but the consequences of not discussing them can be severe. One partner may assume the other is on the same page, only to discover later that they have fundamentally different views on parenthood.
Long-distance relationships: Can you handle the distance?
With increasingly globalised careers and social connections, long-distance relationships are becoming more common. However, not everyone is cut out for the challenges that come with physical distance.
Discussing your expectations and boundaries regarding communication, visits, and commitment can help you determine whether a long-distance relationship is sustainable for both partners or it is just for you.
Financial management: merging your money minds
Financial literacy and management styles can vary significantly between partners. Are you a saver or a spender? Do you prioritise needs over wants? Discussing your financial values, goals, and habits can help you avoid conflicts and create a harmonious financial partnership where you tap into each other’s strengths.
Faith and spirituality: Aligning your values
Faith and spirituality can play a significant role in shaping our values, beliefs, and lifestyles. While some may feel it is not necessary to share the same faith or spiritual practices, understanding and respecting each other’s beliefs can foster a deeper connection and stronger relationship.
Career goals and aspirations: Supporting each other’s dreams
Career goals and aspirations can significantly impact a relationship. Are you supportive of each other’s professional ambitions?
Do you prioritise work-life balance or are you willing to make sacrifices for career advancement? Discussing your career goals and expectations can help you understand each other’s needs and create a supportive partnership. You do not want to find, way into the relationship, that you are with someone who is pulling you down or pulling in a different direction. That can be exhausting if not frustrating!
Conflict resolution: Fighting fair
While conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, it is often how you approach and resolve them that matters most. Discussing your conflict resolution styles, triggers, and boundaries can help you navigate disagreements in a healthy and constructive manner with no threats to the core of your love for each other.
Personal space and boundaries: Respecting each other’s needs
Personal space and boundaries are essential in any relationship as we have previously discussed. Do not overlook to talk about your needs and expectations regarding alone time, physical affection, and social interactions. Such a discussion can help you avoid conflicts and create a comfortable and respectful partnership.
Health and wellness: Supporting each other’s well-being
Health and wellness are critical aspects of any relationship. Discussing your health status and goals, habits, and expectations can help you support each other’s well-being and create a healthy and balanced lifestyle, kwete kuzobura a nasty surprise out of the blue, leaving your partner feeling totally blind-sided.
Setting goals together: Building a shared vision
Finally, setting goals together can help you build a shared vision for your relationship. Discussing your short-term and long-term goals, aspirations, and expectations can help you create a roadmap for your relationship and work towards a common purpose.
Couples’ goal setting tips
Communicate and align your goals
Schedule a goal-setting session: Set aside dedicated time to discuss your goals, aspirations, and expectations, share your individual goals, identify common goals, and prioritise shared goals where you choose to focus on the goals that are most important to both of you.
There are countless couples’ goals examples that couples can glean from in such areas as financial goals, relationship goals, health and wellness goals, and personal growth goals.
Ultimately, openness and honesty are essential in any relationship. By discussing these and other critical areas, setting SMART goals and working with an action plan, couples can build a strong and lasting foundation, avoid unpleasant surprises, and create a fulfilling and satisfying partnership.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this and any relationship topic that might be burning on your heart or if you have a question or need more information: WhatsApp/SMS: 0719102572 or Email: [email protected].
Online Reporter
