Moffat Mungazi
Dr Mazvita Machinga
UNMANAGED anger can be extremely dangerous. It can develop into aggression. Aggression is a hostile, destructive or violent action or behaviour.
We heard about the effects of such aggression in two stories that have been trending in the past weeks on the social media and radio.
A story of a man who killed his wife in Chipinge after she did not disclose to her husband that she was taking family planning pills.
The other one was a story of a four-year-old girl who was fatally assaulted by her stepmother. Indeed, one wonders why this happens and how someone can carry out such wicked actions.
A common factor in the two stories above is unmanaged anger/rage.
They both killed because they had outrage, were furious.
While anger is a normal emotion experienced by everyone at different times, and the way people communicate that they are frustrated or uncomfortable, one has to learn to control the anger.
There is a need for people to learn effective ways of regulating emotions.
Experiences of unmanaged anger can lead to problems.
Again, anger feelings need not to be suppressed, but have healthier ways of handling them.
It is important that parents teach their children from a very early age how to regulate emotions, how to express emotions in a healthy manner.
It is sad that the community has sent mixed messages on how to manage emotions such as anger.
So in the cases above, the two experienced loss of control and exploded in rage that led to devastating actions. The following are some ways that may help in so far as managing anger is concerned when one is emotionally charged.
Pause Before Reacting: Take a moment to think before responding to a situation that makes you angry or has made you angry.
Get skills of how to sit with the anger/ emotion and wait for it to calm. Simple delay tactic to prevent impulsive reaction. Or REDIRECT in the moment your anger to healthy outlet such as Physically removing yourself the situation to cool down or physical exercise, spiritual practice e.g. singing praying, or do some manual work to reduce stress and anger by releasing built-up tension etc IT WORKS. You will calm down and then respond later when your thinking brain is working.
Express your feelings and just say, “I feel upset . . .” I am not happy etc.
Take Timeouts/ step back : Step away from situations that make you angry until you feel calmer then seek help if you are stuck.
Challenge negative thoughts – reconstruct your thinking, reframe your thoughts about the situation.
Replace hostile inner dialogue in you with new perspectives (maonero).
Set Realistic Expectations: Avoid setting yourself or others up for failure with unrealistic expectations, which can lead to frustration and anger. Do not rush to conclusion without warranted facts.
Develop healthier responses and seek healthy problem solving share with those you trust your concerns.
Make conscious choices to manage / control the anger. (Remember anger emotion is there its natural all that is needed is to control and manage it.
So please remember unmanaged anger that is not controlled or expressed in a healthy way often manifests as frequent outbursts, aggressive behaviour, or internal suppression that can lead to emotional, social, spiritual, legal, or physical health problems. It can lead to clinical depression and anxiety.
When anger is unmanaged, individuals may react impulsively, without considering the consequences, and this can result in harm to themselves, or others like in the two cases above.
Therefore, please take time to learn effective anger management strategies. Register for anger management classes.
Arrange anger management sessions for yourself, your family, your workers in that way we prevent serious repercussion of anger outbursts.
Seek professional counselling to address anger issues constructively. SAVE LIVES!
Dr Mazvita Machinga is a qualified Psychotherapist and mental health consultant based in Mutare, Manicaland Call 0771754519 and WhatsApp 0778838410 for help
