Online Reporter
Mudzimba
Dr Rebecca Chisamba
LIFE is rarely a bed of roses; it is naturally filled with ups and downs. These experiences shape our character and ultimately define who we become. Despite the challenges, it is crucial to maintain a positive outlook and persevere through adversity. Seeking easy solutions is rarely the answer, as shortcuts often lead to unforeseen and detrimental consequences. This week, we will explore previously published letters from individuals who sought easy ways out but were wisely counselled against them.
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I am a young man aged 22, and I am doing my tertiary education at one of the universities in the country. At the moment, I am very demoralised. I really do not know whether to continue or not.
My parents are struggling to keep me in school. They are determined to see me through graduation. A few of my friends dropped out of school for hustling/kungwavha-ngwavha and are now very successful.
Comparatively, some of my educated friends are just roaming the streets doing nothing tangible. I cannot think straight. Please advise me. What will education do for me in this environment?
Response
Hello and thank you for writing in. I am glad that you have persevered this far and appreciate your parents’ efforts. I hope you are working hard in school. Now is not the time to get demoralised or focus on what others are doing. In any economy, you have to create a path for yourself.
Try to ascertain what gaps exist in the market or what you can exploit to make a living for yourself.
While education may not be a guarantee of success, the same applies to being uneducated and hustling. If you break it down, there is no formula or blueprint to kungwavha-ngwavha.
Your friends may be posers or even involved in illegal activities and you would not know a thing. I think it has to do with work ethic and trying to find what works for you.
Finish your degree and make your parents proud.
Along the way, you have access to career guidance, which is offered by most institutes. Try to seek knowledge on how best you can earn a living from the skills and knowledge you are acquiring.
You can also try to delve into some side projects to gain some income to put towards your tuition and put money in your pocket.
I would recommend applying for entry-level jobs/internships or even what some may term menial jobs and working your way up the ladder while also studying if your schedule permits.
Success is hard-fought. You need to try before you get demoralised and defeated.
You also need to count your blessings. Others failed to progress to tertiary levels because of a lack of funding. My final word is where there is a will, there is a way.
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I want to be a
second wife
I am a young lady aged 27 and madly in love with a married man who resides in the same neighbourhood. I fell for him because he said he was looking for a youthful young wife.
He promised to introduce me to his wife, but it is taking forever and it seems he is scared of her.
My mother says she is not at ease with this relationship but she accepts groceries and money this guy brings. I did not do well at school and menial jobs are not my cup of tea. I am either at home or hanging out with my friends.
A fortnight ago, one of my friends spilled the beans, and several people in our neighbourhood now know, including my no-nonsense father. My dad is very angry with me and my mum. He drove us to our rural home and never spoke to us during the entire trip.
He says he will ask us to come back when he is ready to have a family meeting with us. He has since communicated this to tete, his sister, and it is not looking good. The guy has stopped all communication with me. Amai, what do you think about this?
Response
Your letter made my reading very sad. I will be very frank with you because I think the route you are taking is not good for you and those close to you. I think this married person is wasting your time and gradually destroying his marriage.
You are young and full of potential; why do you not value yourself? You want to be a second wife at 27 not out of love but out of poverty.
Currently, you need to strive to be self-sufficient.
I think this person does not have any serious intentions. If he wants to make you his second wife, why did he go quiet when your friend spilled the beans? He should have stood up for you.
It is even more heartbreaking to think your mother, a person who should give you guidance, is also entangled in this mess with you. Your father’s stance may spell danger for your mum and the family at large. He feels betrayed and embarrassed that his family entertained a married man for the sake of gifts.
Apologise earnestly to him and work on being self-sufficient and living within your means. I wish you all the best.
Feedback: beckychisamba @gmail.com
